Grief is a perfectly normal and natural part of life. However, how you deal with grief is not. The modern way of suppressing everything, from feelings to physical problems is counter to good health.
This may sound a little odd, but your body needs to express itself freely. It’s only by free expression that emotions can be worked through. It may not be fashionable to burst into tears when you have been emotionally stirred, but it’s REAL. Expressing your emotions means you are alive.
I, for one, look forward to the day when humanity can express themselves openly and freely, at the time they are stirred. Our society will be far healthier for it.
Most people try to hide their tears when in public, swallowing the grief. Or you may find yourself feeling empty inside, so go looking for food, which does nothing to fill the hollow.
A much healthier approach is to allow the feeling. You don’t have to encourage it, but if you simply accept that you do feel grief, you are feeling upset, sad or depressed. Allow it and it will pass. When you suppress the feeling, you are simply giving it more energy. This means it will re-surface in the future, often stronger and more difficult to deal with.
Learning to accept situations in your life doesn’t mean you don’t try to improve it. Far from it. But when you accept the situation, rather than deny it, you come from a much more positive place. The energy is very different.
Let’s suppose you have lost someone very near and dear to you. You expect to grieve their passing. By allowing this grief free expression, you are likely to emerge from the grief in a relatively short time. And when you do emerge, you will be ready to move on in life, while honoring the life you had.
When you suppress your grief, you can become morose and miserable, clutching onto the past, without ever moving forward. You get stuck.
Homeopathy is wonderful for helping you get unstuck, but this is an area when it is best to get professional help, rather than to try to do this yourself.
I remember a woman came to see me, who was beside herself with grief after she discovered her husband was having an affair. Her world fell apart. Later she told me that the remedy I gave her literally saved her life. Each time she felt her spirits sink, she took another dose. Without this support, she felt very close to taking her life.
After a couple of days of frequent dosing, she became more balanced, more in control and the support was no longer as necessary.
As happens with deep healing, another past grief of losing her beloved dog some years previously, was also healed. She could talk about him without crying or even feeling sad. Now, the memory of him was of their happy times together.
Supporting others in grief is another area that is often not healthy. Mostly the help is to try to get people out of the grief by any means. Suggestions such as ‘don’t cry’, ‘here, have a chocolate biscuit’ or trying to explain or rationalise the grief encourages denial of it.
What is more supportive and healthy is to allow their grief full expression without hindering it. For some reason, talking to people is better than talking to a wall. So if a grieving person wants to talk to you, it’s far better to remain silent. You are simply a catalyst, a vehicle by which the grief can be expended. You do not have to be involved. By getting involved, you can make matters worse.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross is far more eloquent on this course of action than I am, so if you want to know more, you may like to read her books.
If you don’t process your grief in a healthy way, if you do get stuck and don’t do anything about getting proper help, then expect your animals to carry the load for you. They do that willing, so it’s better not to give them this burden.
Look back into your past and try to see if there is an area where you got stuck. Is it still causing you problems? Did your pets get sick soon afterwards?
When you become aware of subtleties, when you become acutely aware of life, when you really look, you can start to really see.
